It’s been a while since I wrote. A lot has changed. A lot still hasn’t. My entry drop-off coincided with my work load increasing drastically. But I still haven’t picked up a cigarette since I quit on March 27, last year.
My hair is a few feet shorter my path seems clearer and yet it feels like He’s still laying the bricks before me. I’ve been attending church for probably a year now. The church is good. It’s preaching the Bible and not adding or subtracting. The pastor is good. I’ve even started attending a Bible study.
There are times I look at my former life and all I see is death. I see open and overt Satan worship and yet those who continue to be in that life don’t see it. They don’t see the iconography or the visuals as I do. I see their wailing and writhing in front of the band stage as a submission to a handful of humans. All the time, they decry “God isn’t real”. Ah, apparently you chose a new god…and you made him in your image – he’s the dude holding the guitar, the microphone or the drumstick. Maybe he’s the bass player. The point is, individually, these people are not Satan, but they are being worshiped as gods (even if only for a moment). The imagery is unmistakable, unless you’re living in that Egyptian river of “denial”.
I do not intend to say that my former life was a life hell-bent (pardon the pun) on glorifying the left-hand path, but sometimes it was, whether I prefer to admit it or not. By and large, it promotes the opposite that my life was intended for. And perhaps my life hasn’t been all rosy since I left it, but there has been a lot of work going on in me. It’s still continuing.
God has a funny way of sorting people out. His methods with us are as unique as the problems we present or become when we don’t follow the path He intended. He’s actually rather ingenious, which is a given, since He’s God.
I have a lot to say, but often don’t finish saying what I write and close the computer, allowing my entry to delete. Sometimes I feel insignificant…who wants to read this? But I guess at some point, someone will get it and perhaps I’ll become more consistent with writing.
