I’m a 44-year-old mother, wife, individual. If you’ve arrived here, you were either sent here, or your search put you in this path.
I started documenting what was happening to me when I was beginning to rediscover God. For my adult life, I did my own thing. I believed in God, but more on the notion that He was an absentee landlord, if I’m to be truthful. But He’s not.
I tried to ignore a lot of things I had learned in my younger years and many will question the existence of the Devil too. No, the devil didn’t make me do this or that. I had free will to depart from God’s presence, or try to see more of Him. I chose to flee. Big mistake.
After my suicide attempts in 2018, I was left with a massive gaping question. Well several, but they’re all the same theme: Why am I here? Why bother? What’s the point? What’s the meaning of life if you live, suffer and die?
I asked this question over and over, both in truth, and as a rhetorical retort to a fatalistic statement someone else might make. I’d then be sure to let them know, don’t worry, I’m not suicidal. I’m just asking a question because if it’s pointless, then why bother?
God answered my questions. The whole point is Him. The whole point is a relationship with Him. This is so simple and yet so complicated for so many people to get a handle on. I gained half the answer at the age of 27 after my brush with an aggressive cancer (a brush, because I didn’t even need chemo or radiation). He saved me then. I realized life was all about relationships.
He’s saved me again and this time I have the full answer. The most important relationship is the one you have with God.
Now you may wonder…how does this give you the meaning of life, or the point to it all. God has a plan for your life. Yes, yours! Just as he has for mine. He knows how many hairs you have (or don’t have) on your head. He knew you before you were born. And no matter what you’ve endured in your life, He loves you and He wants you to reach out to Him, so He can show you life in a different perspective. The one with God.
He has shown me a different perspective and I no longer wonder about the meaning of life, but now I am curious as to what His purpose for mine is. Maybe it’s simply to get this message to you. Maybe it’s something else, but whatever it is, it’s good, because God made that plan, just as He made me. And He made you too! God doesn’t make garbage. So that means you do have worth. But you need to talk to Him.
Raewyn.