Your basic instinct is survival.
If you have sought, or are seeking to commit suicide, something has become corrupted inside you. It is not to say your entire being is corrupted, but something in you is trying to get you to go against your very instinct to survive. A part of you has broken and you likely know this much.
If you’ve ever had the experience of dealing with a bad or corrupted disk, you’ll know that it can be difficult, if not almost impossible to retrieve the data that was stored on it.
Your brain has become corrupted in a similar fashion. Your mind is not looking to the hope and good, because you probably can’t see any. Your thought processes may feel like they’re sinking under a heavy cloud of despair. The difference between your mind and the computer hard drive is, you can fix your mind.
My brain was like that for a while and it wasn’t due to an innate chemical imbalance, but rather environmental factors that trigger the fog of depression that led to suicidal ideation and eventual suicide attempts.
So, I need you to ask yourself, what has corrupted your thinking so that you are no longer able to see a reason to live? Or if you are out the other end of suicide and are still struggling with an excuse to live, have you considered (environmental factors aside) that there could be something else going on?
An animal caught in a trap would as soon as chew its foot off to escape that trap in order to attempt survival. Some humans have done similar things (parting with limbs), because the basic instinct is survival.
If you’ve lost your basic instinct and you’re being dragged through other peoples’ reasons to give you hope and it’s still not convincing to you, I plead with you, start talking to God. Start asking Him for help. Even if you think you’ve never had a need for God in the past, or maybe you did and you felt He failed you. He didn’t. Something else failed you.
You are meant to live. No matter what you are going through, no matter how you try to trivialize what’s playing out in your life, God wants you to talk to Him. He waited for me to talk to Him, and finally I am alive again. It only took a couple of years of my stubbornness as, I pretty much ignored Him when seeking a reason to save my basic instinct.
Please don’t be as foolish as I was to wait so long. You’ll recover, and probably quicker than I did. Through Jesus, you will find life has new meaning. I wouldn’t publish this if I didn’t believe it.
Jesus came to save the lost. I was lost. If you’re in this train of thought of thoughts of suicide or struggling for a reason to live, after an attempt, you’re lost too. Jesus wants to help.
Seek the Lord while He still may be found. He will renew you and give you new life (in this existence) and He will give you ever lasting life in the next. If you don’t know what to say, just call out to Jesus. Literally tell Him you need help. No matter what you may have said or done against Him in the past, He will forgive you. Do not feel too ashamed, nor too proud. All of us have done something wrong (some of us, many many wrong things).
While you are alive, there is hope and the Lord can help. And if you don’t think you hear Him the first time, keep talking to Him. He will answer in a way you finally do hear.
